Emotional Intelligence, also known as EQ, is nothing more than a set of skills, maybe the most important ones you will ever need. It is capacity to control and express emotions, handle relationships and conflicts, with empathy and self awareness.
While IQ can help you with your intellectual life, EQ gives you a chance to actually live it.
The Importance of Having High EQ
Research tells us that people with high Emotional Intelligence enjoy many advantages and benefits in life. It helps in social, business and family life.
Once you learn to communicate your emotions, you will be able to avoid confusing relationships and understand what the other person, your boss or friend, is trying to tell you. It is a crucial skill for a good social life and fuel to more success at work.
By learning about your emotional life, your self-respect and self-esteem will grow and you will be able to make better decisions and lead a happier life.
Are We Born With EQ?
Of course genetics have a big role in emotional intelligence. Still, it is a skill, so if you find yourself having troubles with interpersonal relationships or feel like you are less or more empathetic that people around you, you can change that.
The key is in understanding emotions, learning about yourself and how to get in touch with other people’s feelings.
Childhood and EQ
Childhood is a training ground for emotional intelligence. We learn to express what we feel and how to behave towards others. Our parents are our role models and teachers, so in an ideal situation, parents provide that set of skills and so the child has a better chance of leading a happier life.
On the other, less desirable note, many parents tend to neglect their child’s feelings and when you are not validated or noticed, your emotions are trapped. This is increasingly problematic once you step into adulthood. Every area of an adult’s life is affected by this lack of EQ and one may find it hard to understand conflicts and issues with others as well as issues within.
Adults with low EQ have trouble making decisions, understanding other people’s needs and expressing themselves. Many people just ignore the issues until they are left with no choice, but this is not the end of the world.
Improving Your EQ
Fortunately, for all of us, that is not the end of the story. As we said, EQ is nothing other than a set of skills. You need to dedicate more time to yourself in order to understand the world better, but once you start this journey you will want to know more and more. The first step is learning what are emotions and how they work.
Learning To Communicate and Feel
You are now just like any other student. You start with learning about your own feelings. Not everything in life is black or white, good or bad. There is a range of emotions you need to learn more about in order to understand yourself and others.
Next is empathy. You can try to imagine how a character in a movie feels. You need to put yourself in other people’s shoes in order to move forward and get to know people around you in a new light.
One of the best ways to resolve conflicts is learning assertiveness. It is going to teach you how to talk to people, how to say what you need or want in a way that won’t be insulting or hurtful to others. Assertiveness is not sugar coating or lying, it is saying all that you would otherwise say, but with more respect to yourself and others.
EQ Takes Time to Comprehend
The world you entered, the world of feelings, is large and in order to progress, you will need time. If you are unsure about any of it, you should talk to a therapist. They can also give you small exercises and help you adjust to your new set of skills.
Slowly, gradually, but with purpose and intention, you will stop neglecting your own feelings and become able to handle others’ feelings better. It is life changing and it is EQ that can give you the life you always needed.